Gettin’ to the good stuff. These are the snacks that you will hide in your drawer for the Sad Times. These are the snacks that you will hide from your best friend because you HAVE TO HAVE EVERY LAST BITE, NO SHARING, THANKS. These are the artery-clogging, hyper-child-creating, gloriously unhealthy snacks that I can’t get enough of.

1. Nutella

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say enough about Nutella. One of the coolest moments of my life was being in a grocery store in Paris seeing that they had NUTELLA. In a HANDY SNACK PACK. Like we have cheese and crackers in the states? THEY HAVE NUTELLA AND BREADSTICKS. I’m off Nutella for life, but if you love chocolate and hazelnuts, I encourage you to indulge.

2. Fried Pickles

Whether you call them frickles, pickle chips, or just plain fried happiness, pickles dredged batter then fried to a golden crisp are truly a delight. I’m from Texas, so of course I’ll eat anything fried. And the only thing that can make fried pickles better? Ranch dressing. Sign me up.

3. Dibs

I first had Dibs at a movie theatre. They combined my two loves: ice cream and Buncha Crunches, my usual movie snack. Dibs are bite-size pieces of heaven. You don’t have to commit to a full bowl of ice cream or an entire Crunch bar. You can just pop a few (read: all) into your mouth. What a champion snack.

4. Kettle Brand Honey Dijon Chips

When I used to live in a dorm with a convenience store in the bottom of the building, I would pick up a bag of these chips to study with. Restraining myself from eating an entire bag at one sitting was a bigger challenge than memorizing the proper uses of the subjunctive verb tense in Spanish. Unfortunately, I CANNOT FIND these chips ANYWHERE anymore. Kettle Brand? A little help here? I would pay handsomely for a bag of these beauties.